Source: "The Social Guidebook to Norway"
In an organisation, a sport group, take part in dugnads, in your kids activities, etc.
Norwegians like to be inside social bubbles
These bubbles form naturally around frame activities
Frame activities are the basis of Norwegian socialization
First you get involve in one
You will create social contacts with other people doing the same activity as you do
And social bubbles will form around these activities
Now, how do you get out of these bubbles?
What if you find some of the people especially interesting
And you want to hang out only with them
How do you build friendships and interact with Norwegians outside frame activities?
Here comes rule 2
You need to have a practical reason to get out of the bubble
If you do not have a practical reason
Just make one up
“I just got this really cool fondue set I would like to test"
It will make Norwegians feel more comfortable to get out of their social bubble
And they can justify to themselves why they are doing it
"I am helping him test his fondue set"
You also need to justify why you are not inviting the other people
This is again best done with a practical reason
“My place is too small to invite everyone”
Refrain from giving an "emotional" reason such as
"You are interesting, i want to get to know you better"
Norwegians may feel uncomfortable with so much interest and expression of emotions
You need to keep your distance
Keep it equal
This is rule 4
Do not make Norwegians feel like they owe you something
Do not cook a three-course dinner and spend hours preparing it while paying for all the food
Things should be equal and in equilibrium
The "hytta" article presents another funny example of that
You also need to make Norwegians feel like they can escape the friendship at any moment
This is rule 5
Keep it non-commiting
The 5 Rules - How to Make a Norwegian Friend
(1) Get involve first
(2) Have a reason to get out of the social bubble
(3) Have a reason not to invite all the others
(4) Keep it equal
(5) Keep it non-committing
You may need a guide
Also if you are Norwegian
It helps you understand how others may perceive your behaviors
Lucky you I wrote two
By Julien S. Bourrelle
Watch him on TED
Book a lecture firstname.lastname@example.org