Norway is great

Absolutely fantastic

The best country in Scandinavia

We have the best women

The best, absolutely greatest women

Sexy, smart, intelligent, wonderful

You like grabbing?

They can grab balls like no other women

Handball, football, volleyball

They are the best players

Absolutely fantastic

Not like in Sweden

Sweden is terrible, fake country

It is so sad

They have slutstations

Volvo, total disaster

Not even Swedish. Fake.

Denmark

They fail, really bad

Did not manage to rule us

Complete loser

South of Norway is bad

Very bad

They cannot even speak

Absolute disaster

Kamoloso

Norway is tremendous

We are the best at cross-country skiing

In the whole world

Sweden and Denmark

Total losers

Not even real countries

Total disaster

Our secret: lipstick

Absolutely fantastic Italian lipstick

No need to read the label

Just asks the doctor

Alternative facts

Can we say America first and Norway second?

--

PS: This is satire. It is a parody of a rhetoric used to bring people of different appearance and cultural background away from each other. The exact opposite of what this website and our books are about. 

Learn more about Norway:

"The Social Guidebook to Norway"

By Julien S. Bourrelle

Watch him on TED

Book a lecture